One of my favourite Aussie poems.
"HOW McDOUGAL TOPPED THE SCORE."
A peaceful spot is Piper's Flat. The folk that live around-
They keep themselves by keeping sheep and turning up the ground;
But the climate is erratic, and the consequences are,
The struggle with the elements is everlasting war.
We plough, and sow, and harrow- then slip down and pray for rain;
And then we all get flooded out and have to start again.
But the folk are now rejoicing as they ne'er rejoiced before,
For we've played Molonglo cricket, and McDougal topped the score!
Molonglo had a head on it, and challenged us to play,
A single innings match for lunch- the losing team to pay.
We were not great guns at cricket, but we couldn't well say no,
So we all began to practice, and we let the reaping go.
We scoured the Flat for ten miles round to muster up our men,
But when the list was totalled, we could only muster ten.
Then up spoke big Tim Brady; he was always slow to speak,
And he said -"What price McDougal, who lives down at Cooper's Creek?"
So we sent for old McDougal, and he stated in reply,
That he'd never played at cricket, but he'd half a mind to try.
He couldn't come to practice- he was getting in his hay,
But he guessed he'd show the beggars from Molonglo how to play.
Now, McDougal was a Scotchman, and a canny one at that,
So he started in to practice, with a paling for a bat.
He got Mrs Mac to bowl him, but she couldn't run at all,
So he trained his sheep dog Pincher, how to scout and fetch the ball.
Now, Pincher was no puppy; he was old, and worn, and grey;
But he understood McDougal, and - accustomed to obey-
When McDougal cried out "Fetch it!" he would fetch it in a trice,
But, until the word was "Drop it!" he would grip it like a vice.
And each succeding night they played until the light grew dim;
Sometimes McDougal struck the ball - sometimes the ball struck him.
Each time he struck, the ball would plough a furrow in the ground;
And when he missed, the impetus would turn him three times round.
The fatal day at length arrived- the day that was to see
Molonglo bite the dust, or Piper's Flat knocked up a tree!
Molonglo's captain won the toss, and sent his men to bat,
And they gave some leather-hunting to the men of Piper's Flat.
When the ball sped where McDougal stood, firm planted in his track,
He shut his eyes, and turned him round, and stopped it- with his back!
The highest score was twenty two, the total sixty six,
When Brady sent a Yorker down that scattered Johnson's sticks.
The Piper's Flat went in to bat, for glory and renown,
But, like like the grass before the scyth, our wickets tumbled down.
"Nine wickets down for seventeen, with fifty more to win!"
Our captain heaved a heavy sigh, and sent McDougal in.
"Ten pounds to one you'll lose it!" cried a barracker from the town;
But McDougal sail "I"ll take it, mon!" and planked the money down.
Then he girded up his moleskins in a self reliant style,
Threw off his hat and boots and faced the bowler with a smile.
He held the bat the wrong side out, and Johnson with a grin
Stepped lightly to the bowling crease, and sent a "wobbler' in;
McDougal spooned it softly back, and Johnson waited there,
But McDougal, crying "Fetch it!" started running like a hare.
Molonglo shouted "Victory, he's out as sure as eggs!",
When Pincher started through the crowd, and ran through Johnson's legs.
He seized the ball like lightning; then ran behind a log,
And McDougal kept on running, while Molonglo chased the dog!
They chased him up, they chased him down, they chased him round and round, and then,
He darted through the sliprail as the scorer shouted "Ten!"
McDougal puffed; Molonglo swore; excitement was intense;
As the scorer marked down twenty; Pincher cleared a barbed wire fence.
"Let us head him!" shrieked Molonglo,"Brain the mongrel with a bat!"
"Run it out! Good old McDougal!" yelled the men of Piper's Flat.
And McDougal kept on jogging, and then Pincher doubled back,
And the scorer counted "Forty" as they raced across the track.
McDougal's legs were going fast, Molonglo's breath was gone-
But still Molonglo chased the dog - McDougal struggled on,
When the scorer counted "Fifty" then they knew the chase could cease;
And McDougal gasped out "Drop it!" as he dropped within his crease.
Then Pincher dropped the ball, and as instinctively he knew,
Discretion was the wiser plan, he disappeared from view;
And as Molonglo's beaten men exhausted lay around,
We raised McDougal shoulder high, and bore him from the ground.
We bore him to McGinniss's where lunch was ready laid,
And filled him up with whisky-punch, for which Molonglo paid.
We drank his health in bumpers and we cheered him three times three,
And when Molonglo got it's breath, Molonglo joined the spree.
And the critics say they never saw a cricket match like that,
When McDougal broke the record in the game at Piper's Flat,
And the folk were jubilating as they never did before;
For we played Molonglo cricket- and McDougal topped the score!
Thomas E. Spencer (1845-1911)
Cheers
zambuk
Portal
Search
Member List
Calendar
Help
Game Section
