Hows a Worthy Patron like a body at a funeral?
You cant hold the affair without him, but nobody expects him to say much.

The Eastern Star held a seminar about getting new members.  During a break a brother happened to overhear one Worthy Matron say to another, "Ours is up ten." The second Worthy Matron responded, "Weve got you beat. Our gain is twenty-five."
The brother said, "Pardon me, sisters. I dont mean to interrupt, but I couldnt help hearing. Thats wonderful news! Between your chapters weve got thirty-five new members!"
"New members?" said the first, "We were talking about how many pounds our Worthy Patrons have gained this year."

A sister who had just been installed as Worthy Matron of her chapter and duly attending all the functions she could was having a hard time with her husband who said to her...  "All those women have to do is snap their fingers and you would be there wouldnt you?.........I wish I was Worthy Matron!" 
After a lot thought, she said...  "So do I dear..... we swap them for a new one every year!!"

;D